P.S. Baby will you come with me?

Blegh, so here I sit. I'm sick as crap, but the bofo says I need to write more blogs :]

I'm actually quite bored with my life as of the moment. It seems that I feel like less of a person when I am not accomplishing things. I don't really want to go to school so badly? But I want to for the productivity, and because the quicker I get going, the quicker I will graduate, the quicker I will start working, the quicker I will go back for 2-3 years, the quicker I will be able to go to Africa, the quicker I will be making 100k+ a year, the quicker I will be able to pay for a pretty wedding dress [hopefully] :] I was thinking really hard about how often people spend their entire childhood/teenage years looking forward to starting their new career, getting married, having kids, buying houses, cars, etc. What do you have to look forward to after you have your husband, kids, cars, and house? I find myself rather torn thinking about that, because, while I want to have kids very badly, preferably before my 30th birthday, I also want to go to school for 6-7 years, so that I can pay for all the things I want to do. So that puts me at 27-28 years old and ready to do my Africa thing. I will find time to travel. I've promised myself that. I want to visit every damn continent [except Antarctica of course] And of course I would take my kiddies traveling :] Bahh I can't wait for life to start!

Then of course I'm sitting here writing all this, in the mindset that I just, have, Nathan forever. Which is crap, and I should not think like that. Today, next week, next year, forever, is always going to be something to work at, to not take for granted, to be lucky for. So I shouldn't think like that, that he's just going to stick around because. Yeah. We don't necessarily stay apart for long enough to miss each other, but I would prefer to be with him constantly. It makes me incredibly happy to hear him laughing when I walk in the door from work, or when I wake up and his mean ass is facing the wall. I love that we can be together in any which way, whether we're laughing or crying or loving each other, and it's just completely comfortable, and feels right. It really truly does. It's absolutely right. Nothing has ever felt wierd for me. Like the first time holding his hand. It didn't feel awkward, or new, or anything, it just felt as it's supposed to. I definitely believe in fate and all that crap. All that we went through from this summer on was meant to happen I think. To make us stronger as a unit, to make us always aware not to take each other for granted, because of how close we were to losing each other [and did for a while.] After that I'm pretty sure we could make it through hell and high water together, as long as we're both willing to make the effort.

I've run out of steam. I tried my best to make things as wonderful to read for you as they are for me :] I love you babyyy.