i've earned through hope and faith, the curves around your face, that i'm the one you'll hold forever.

I am really, really retardedly happy in my relationship right now. I have opened up and put myself out of my comfort zone, making me completely vulnerable, just like was asked of me. It feels good to be this open with Nathan, but I'm finding it very difficult to adjust, because one of the biggest feelings in my mind and heart now is fear. I'm terrified that something will change because of school, or his feelings will go away, or his affection will stay different. I wish I had never asked Nathan to quit talking about such big heavy things that scared me a month ago, because now it is something I would like to hear. Maybe that is why I feel like things have changed? His whole way of being affectionate has changed. No longer heavy and deep, but light and easy I guess? I'm working very hard on changing a lot of my reactions. I know I can be a huge wench sometimes, and it's something I'm not proud of. I am working harder than I ever have to change things about myself that I know I need to change/don't like. Idk, maybe this is just his rubberband phase, and I should leave it alone. Idk.



I'm really, really happy, and the only change I would ever want from here on is improvement. I do believe he is my one :D Will you stay with me, and love me always, please?